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I am trying to find the woman most similar to myself. Maybe you are her, or maybe you know her.

Takes 2-3 minutes to read. Photographs at the bottom.

Abbreviated version: I am an only child of a single mother, born 1991, Irish American, from north of Chicago. I don’t want children or pets. I am interested in art history, and philosophy.

…

I am somewhat of a reserved person, so to put myself out here, publicly, is not something I want to do.

My mother had me at 21, while still in college. We lived at her parents’ house.

A lot of my childhood was spent listening to classic rock and watching Nick at Nite sitcoms.

I lived a grunge rock teenage life: skateboarding, drugs, promiscuity, partying, and playing in a band.

Now, I’m working on my second novel “The Depth of Middleclass Sorrow: a comedy”. My first novella “Tangled Shadows” is very important to me, and I hope it is significant to my future girlfriend too.

The best description of my personality is sincere, and analytic.

I try to always be as kind and considerate as possible, though I was not always this way (I used to be an obnoxious, terrible person).

I have been called “as funny as Eddie Murphy”.

For some time, I was a dedicated criminal. I had a crush on a woman who liked gangsters, so I ended up a felon (car theft), if she liked doctors: I would have tried to get a medical degree. I wanted to be a guerrilla soldier, but it is probably better that I was trying to rob jewelry stores, instead of making car bombs.

Ethnically/culturally, I am IrishAmerican-Catholic, from north of Chicago. Also, genetically, but not culturally, I am a quarter Mexican which is where I get my tan.

I spend most of my time thinking about: philosophy, science, religion, mysticism, politics, culture, art, art history, feminism, psychoanalysis, math, history, sociology, anthropology, etc., and want someone with to have long, interesting discussions.

My main hobbies are biking, wall tennis, going to the movies, driving fast, reading, writing, museums, concerts, playing cards, travel, trivia, meditating, and sunbathing.

Random things I want to do: study history and vocabulary, lose 25 pounds/get in shape, work on craft/science/art projects, learn a trade, learn some Welsh (I can speak some Spanish).

I used to look down on internet dating, because it was not the traditional way people met, but now: I see it as exceedingly more practical than traditional dating, and it can be romantic too.

I have talked a lot about myself, but I am not an egocentric person. I will be at least equally interested, if not, mostly likely more interested in you (my future partner), than myself.

Beware: if you become my girlfriend, you will be the most important person to me: I will sincerely care for you, and I will want to spend most of my time with you.

It is a non-negotiable of mine: someone who is also an only child of a single mother.

I apologize for any typos or errors, I went to American public school.

To write (and maybe get some free margaritas):

xavierjayrichards@aol.com

If you want to know the movies, music, books, and T.V. shows I like, ask me, I have a long list: I took down to make it quicker to read. Also, I have a longer version of this dating autobiography (if you are interested), that I cut down, because someone told me I “did not have to be so honest”, and to make it quicker to read.

P.S.

I wish there was a website/app where you could search: Polish, middle child, heavy metal, and find all the people like you, but that has yet to exist. A free search engine of dating profiles. Please someone make it.

I should also say: I don’t want children, but I am open to possibly dating someone who has children. Like most people, I went through a phase of wanting to have children. Nor do I want pets, though I am good with animals, and had cats, a dog, and fish growing up: I don’t want the responsibility, and I don’t like the hair and waste of animals.

Thank you, very much, for reading. Maybe I know your best romantic match, and would be happy to introduce you.

Please share if you would.

I have never really liked the name of this website. It comes from a time: I was drunk, on my back, in my apartment lobby, and someone asked if I “needed help”, and I thought to myself “that is something people do?”. I thought of a better name (but forgot it), but dont think it is important enough to change it. I’d rather not have this website, but how else do you find 1 person out of 8 billion?

I hope everyone has happiness, choices, wisdom, good fortune, and finds their best romantic match, so on and such. And please, always try to be as kind and considerate as possible.